dansing chef
Happy Lazy Sausage Feast
Here’s an easy meal idea that’s great if you’ve got lots of people coming around and you can’t be bothered to spend ages cooking something complicated for them. This stuff is good for parties or as something that’ll keep warm for a long time - so it won’t matter if your ungrateful guests come late.
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  • Tinned beans. Tins of baked beans in tomato sauce would be OK, but a better idea would be tins of mixed beans in tomato sauce. Allow at least half a tin per person.
  • Sausages. Go to the sausage shelf in any good supermarket and you’ll find all sorts of different and exciting flavours of sausage. There’ll be traditional pork ones and also: pork and leak ones, garlicky ones, pork with apple ones, and chilli ones. There are all sorts of sausage on this planet and this is your opportunity to broaden that small part of your brain that is dedicated solely to sausage experimentation. So buy a mixture of lots of different types of sausages and allow at least 3 sausages per person.
  • Tabasco sauce.
  • Parsley, (optional). If you intend to eat HAPPY LAZY SAUSAGE FEAST at the high table, garnish with some chopped parsley coz it’ll make it look this dish look posh & cute, (instead of messy & grungy).
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Grill the sausages in the way that you normally grill sausages. If you’ve never cooked a sausage before, wash your handies and do this ..........

Make sure that your sausages aren’t frozen. It they are frozen, defrost them.
1. Turn your grill on full blast.

2. Take your sausages out of the packet & cut them into single sausages
(you’ll need to do this if they are part of a string of sausages).

3. Lay your sausages on the rack of a grill pan and prick each of them a few times with a fork.

4. When the grill is really fiery hot, put the grill pan (with its cargo of
sausages) under the heat so that the tops of the sausages are about 6-7 cms away from the source of the heat.

5. As the sausages brown on each side, turn them over so that they brown on their raw sides. (A knife and fork are easiest for this job).

6. Your sausages will take about 15 minutes to completely cook. They are
ready when they look like the cooked sausages that you have been eating for all your life until this point in time.
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When the sausages are cooked, cut each one into four or five pieces with a sharp knife.

Meanwhile, gently heat as many cans of beans as you think you’re going to need. You’ll need a large pan for this. Heat gently the beans and stir from time to time with a wooden spoon. Don’t let them boil because, if you do, they lose their flavour. (Don’t ask me why, they just do, OK?). If they do boil, that’s tough - but they won’t poison you.
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When the beans are hot and the sausages are cooked and sliced, add the sausagey bits to the cauldron of beans and stir it all together. Also, add some Tabasco sauce coz this really seems to pep up the taste of beans.

And that’s it. Serve by ladling the sausagey-beany mixture into bowls and garnish with chopped parsley (if you seriously think that anyone’s going to care).

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You could serve this stuff with hot garlic bread or even a mixed salad (find out how to make salad dressing by following the BEST SALAD DRESSING IN THE WORLD recipe that is elsewhere in this section). Basically, HAPPY LAZY SAUSAGE FEAST is unpretentious nosh for people who expect to be well largered within a couple of hours of eating it.

Don’t expect any thank-you notes the next morning coz drunks never remember or appreciate their last supper. This might be a good opportunity to film the sozzled brutes stuffing their faces so you can remind them at a later date of your generous hospitality.