dansing chef
  • Baking Potatoes
  • A tin of tuna in sunflower oil
  • A tin of sweetcorn
  • Mayonaise
  • Salt & Pepper
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Tuna Goo Potatoes is a boftastic recipe for complete idiots that you can do anytime. But - it is especially good as party food cos you can prepare most of it beforehand and most people seem to like it. Also, it’s dirt cheap.

Firstly, wash yer handies.

Now bake some potatoes. Normally, one biggish potato per person is enough. To bake potatoes: firstly make sure that there is no mud on them by scrubbing ‘em in cold water, rinsing and then drying. Next shove them on the centre rack of an oven that has been preheated to 200 degrees Centigrade. (That’s dangerously hot so don’t burn yourself)! Depending on their size, the potatoes will need about an hour to cook and you can check that they are ready by poking a sharp knife or a kebab skewer through them, (they are cooked when the knife sinks through without encountering any resistance). Alternatively, you can microwave potatoes, which will take about 15 minutes but, to get an accurate timing, you should look at the instruction book which came with your microwave thingy. Chances are that this is lost so go & find the person responsible and give them some grief. (If that person was you then just sit down and have a drink, or get googling).
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While the potatoes are baking: open the can of tuna fish and the can of corn and drain away the yukky fluids that they are floating in. That’s right ... you don’t want the oil from the tuna or the water from the corn ‘cos that stuff is just muck so bung it down the sink. Now get a bowl, or spare saucepan, or something, and empty in the tuna and some of the corn.
Lightly scrunch the mixture together with your fingers and add more corn until you’re happy with the tuna:corn ratio. It’s a subjective thing so don’t ask me for stupid quantities; hey, we’re not talking Delia Smith here. Then, add some mayonnaise and gently mix until it all appears to stick together in a mayonnaisey goo. Again - use your judgement, but just don’t overdo the mayo ‘cos you don’t need very much. If you and/or your guests are people of refinement, taste and culture, it might be cool to add some salt & pepper at this stage.
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When the potatoes are cooked, cut them lengthways and take a small spoonful of the flesh out of each half. (Be careful coz they'll be hot so find a clean tea towel to hold them steady). Now slop a big spoonful of the tuna/corn/mayo mixture into the steaming flesh of each half of the potatoes. 

Serve on plates with salady stuff & salad dressing. If you want to be really poncy or impress the pants off somebody, you could put a sprig of parsley on top of each tuna-filled potato half. That's class!
If you’ve made too much of that tuna/corn/mayo goo then it’ll keep for a couple of days if you cover it with cling film and bung it in the fridge.

And if you’ve got the midnight munchies, just shovel it into your gob with a dirty spoon - but don’t let anyone see you doing this.